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Feb. 4th, 2004 05:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zianurayI have no idea who came up with this, but i like it. any additions posted to comments may be added if i like them, too!
How to survive a horror movie:
1. When it appears that you have killed the monster,
*never* check to see
if it's really dead.
2. If you find that your house is built upon or near a
cemetery, that was
once a church that was used for black masses, had
previous inhabitants who
went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible
fashion, or had
inhabitants who performed necrophilia or satanic
practices, move away
immediately.
3. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as
a joke.
4. Do not search the basement, especially if the
power has just gone out.
5. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open
portals to Hell.
6. If you find a town which looks deserted, it's
probably for a reason.
Take the hint and stay away.
7. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless
you're sure you know
what you are doing.
8. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip
or fall down at least
twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also
note that, despite
the fact that you are running and the monster is
merely shambling along,
it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
9. Do not keep all your sharpened kitchen knifes in
one of those wooden
block thingies on your worksurface.
10. When you're searching a house because you think
there's something
dangerous there, for God's sake turn the damn lights
on!
11. Never back out of one room into another without
looking. It's always
behind you.
12. Never, ever, ever turn off the paved road onto a
gravel or dirt road.
13. Always make sure that your car has a fresh
battery so it will start
immediately in times of crisis
.
14. Never say that you'll be right back because you
won't.
15. If anything other than water (blood, thick goo of
any color)
comes out of a faucet, do not call a plumber. Leave
the house
immediately.
16. If, looking in a mirror, you see a figure behind
you that you don't see
upon turning around, you see a different room than the
one you are in, you
see a figure other than yourself looking back, or your
reflection tells you
to get out before it is too late, proceed to the
nearest exit with all
speed.
17. If you open a door and the room you see is not the
room that should be
there, do not explore it. In fact, even if you close
the door and see the
correct room after re-opening it, vacate the house.
How to survive a horror movie:
1. When it appears that you have killed the monster,
*never* check to see
if it's really dead.
2. If you find that your house is built upon or near a
cemetery, that was
once a church that was used for black masses, had
previous inhabitants who
went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible
fashion, or had
inhabitants who performed necrophilia or satanic
practices, move away
immediately.
3. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as
a joke.
4. Do not search the basement, especially if the
power has just gone out.
5. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open
portals to Hell.
6. If you find a town which looks deserted, it's
probably for a reason.
Take the hint and stay away.
7. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless
you're sure you know
what you are doing.
8. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip
or fall down at least
twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also
note that, despite
the fact that you are running and the monster is
merely shambling along,
it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
9. Do not keep all your sharpened kitchen knifes in
one of those wooden
block thingies on your worksurface.
10. When you're searching a house because you think
there's something
dangerous there, for God's sake turn the damn lights
on!
11. Never back out of one room into another without
looking. It's always
behind you.
12. Never, ever, ever turn off the paved road onto a
gravel or dirt road.
13. Always make sure that your car has a fresh
battery so it will start
immediately in times of crisis
.
14. Never say that you'll be right back because you
won't.
15. If anything other than water (blood, thick goo of
any color)
comes out of a faucet, do not call a plumber. Leave
the house
immediately.
16. If, looking in a mirror, you see a figure behind
you that you don't see
upon turning around, you see a different room than the
one you are in, you
see a figure other than yourself looking back, or your
reflection tells you
to get out before it is too late, proceed to the
nearest exit with all
speed.
17. If you open a door and the room you see is not the
room that should be
there, do not explore it. In fact, even if you close
the door and see the
correct room after re-opening it, vacate the house.
