zianuray: (Default)
 because today was the last lauch of the space shuttle program, and there's nothing slated to replace it.  

I didn't realize until about 11 or noon until quite why I was so upset; I think I've been holding to the (admittedly very faint) hope of making it to a Moon or Mars colony -- I  know, my age and weight would count against me if nothing else did, but I did have that faint hope.  After all, they're going to need broom-pushers for everywhere and dishwashers in the galley and orderlies in sickbay....and the triple-PhDs all over the place won't want to take time from their research and other projects for the mundane chores.  I'm smart enough to not open both doors on an airlock at the same time and not too proud to shovel manure if that's what needs doing (and yes, I've done it).

I pretty much know where I fall as far as intelligence -- not only do I know my scores on several sorts of tests, I know where I fall on the "average human VS Sheldon Cooper" scale -- pretty much 1/3 of the way up.  Smart enough that I have to be careful picking topics of conversation when standing in a checkout line, not smart enough to do differential calculus in my head.
And I'm a generalist -- Jack of all trades, master of none is the old phrase.  I don't know what they're calling it now in txtspk or twtspk or crrent slang, and -- even more important -- I can follow directions!  If you tell me to flip these three switches in this sequence, guess what?  They'll get flipped in that sequence -- even if I have to write it down to keep it straight.
I know that compared to the average Star Trek crewman (yes, I know, fiction, deal with it) -- not even the officers -- I'm gonna be barely average, and I'll likely have to struggle for that -- evolution and education will continue to improve and selection will (hopefully) take only the best and brightest for those positions, and that's about what I expect would be going on with the colony projects too.
But until today, I had at least that faint hope.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep.
zianuray: (Default)
Some Pastors stop believing in God after reading Bible

Actually, I stopped believing in religion.  Jesus and I still talk occasionally, and I now admit I believe in many deities (or Prime Cause, or however you want to say it).
zianuray: (Books)
Remember when I posted the pic on my usericon, the bed of the S-10 full of books salvaged from a dumpster?

According to this site a regular size pickup bed full of books is one gigabyte.  Approximately.

I have a "thumb drive" that holds 4 of those.

I just picked up a one terabyte external hard drive for under $100, tax included.

that's enough storage for 1,000 pickup trucks worth of books.

I'm gonna go lie down with a cold washcloth and a warm puppy.

zianuray: (Default)
I ran across a link today through a series of other links; this one is about Spending Out, which is using the things you've been "saving" for whatever reason. 

Basically, the idea is that if you have a desk drawer full of "good" stationery and keep buying "everyday" stationery, what's the use of having the good?  Use it, enjoy it, realize you (and the people you write to) are worth the good stuff.  (I know, people don't write letters anymore, email and texting have killed the idea of written correspondence, but the idea carries over.  Play along, awright?)

Do you, as I do, keep stuff because "it might come in handy someday"?  What's the worst that could happen if you toss it out?  You might have to buy a piece of leather that would work better for a knife sheath than the side of the shoe you've been moving from basket to shelf to box (and may not be able to find when you're ready to start that bit of leatherwork)?

I have two boxes of scrapbooky bits that I don't use. 

I have shoes that never really fit that I'm clinging to.

I have t-shirts that are ready for someone else -- or the ragbag, in some cases -- that I'm holding to because I had fun at whatever event they designate.

I have resentments and grudges that I'm cherishing against all reason.

I'm doing a little better with some of it.

I'm using the pretty notepads that people get me; my concession to not using the last of the pretty is to take the first sheet and put it in a photo album.

I've been destashing the scrapbooky bits on a website for swappers and getting things I will use -- charms for jewelry making, books that I can swap once I've read them -- in exchange.

I've offered up the shoes that are in the best condition but no-one in the area seems to want them, so they'll be going to a charity store this week.

The t-shirts...I've decided to take pictures (digital) and then get rid of them.  Either to the landfill or to the aforementioned charity shops.

I've actually been able to throw out shoes that are worn to the point of being dangerous in the last few years, and no take them out of the trash can three times b/c "they might come in handy someday!"

The grudges...that's harder.  Any suggestions?  And I don't mean the standard lines in the self-help books.  How do I go about forgiving myself if I can't find the person to apologize to them?

zianuray: (P'd off!  From bw)
I got a little snitty with a co-worker today.

She said of someone, "What a witch!" and did not intend it as a compliment.

I asked why she didn't call the woman a Baptist?

Then explained that it was just the same thing as calling her a Witch -- that if she was going to denigrate one person's religion she may as well spread it around.

"Well, I'm not going to say 'bitch' in a call center!"

"Just remember, it's harassment on religious grounds and I am not afraid to talk to HR about it.  Are you willing to go that far?"

I did try to put a humorous spin on it and presented it as informational -- but everyone there knows I'm a Witch anyhow, I'm so far out of the broom closet I was never in that it may as well have burned down.

In the end, I think I got the message across -- and we're ok, as far as I can tell there are no feelings of being "picked on" on her part and as for me, I know she just hadn't thought of it that way before, so no harm, no foul.

Yeah, the whole PC thing also annoys me, but damnit, say what you mean!  A bitch is a bitch and a Witch is a Witch; confuse the two at your peril!(Thanks, [livejournal.com profile] jeffs_page !)  And no, being a Witch does not mean one cannot also be a bitch.  Or at least assertive.

So...what's your take?  Would you have spoken up if it were your religion being bandied about?  What about "just any" religion?
zianuray: (Default)
Some time ago, there was mention of an "Open-Source Boob Project" which set off quite a bit of controversy.  I'm not providing links because if you know about it, you know where to find what I'm talking about and if you don't, well, you need to find and read ALL the info before jumping down any throats.

Basically, there was a private conversation in a hallway of a hotel during a con, where one (female) person and then another and then even more VOLUNTEERED permission for a friend to touch her breasts -- just touch, respectfully and politely.  This sort of snowballed and soon various women were sporting either red or green buttons saying NO on the red or YES on the green.  The green was not, as I understand it, blanket permission to grope and drool, but a notice that it was permissible to ASK POLITELY if one could touch the breasts of the person wearing the green button.  Not to shove hands down the shirt or pinch nipples, just to touch or caress the portions exposed by whatever the permission-giver was wearing at the time.

Again, from what I understand, it was less a "sexual thrill" (although I'm sure it was that as well!) and more an almost religious experience.  Maybe not "almost".  Certainly reverential.

Many people who had not been there got bent and made noises about exploitation and attention-whoring and such.

Many others, some of whom were there, said it was a perfectly healthy phenomenon and gave their reasoning.

My take on it, after a good long while analyzing things, is this:

I think the Open-Source Boob Project is a good thing, healthy and respectful.  It reminds us -- EVERYONE -- that each individual, female or male, has the right to grant access to her or his body as well as deny access.  It seems that society is currently operating under a "failure to deny is to grant access" model -- "Well, she didn't say no!" -- and that is not healthy. 

It's not yet OK to show bare breasts on network TV most times, but it's OK to show a needle or a knife penetrating flesh or gray matter spattering a wall and the path of a bullet leaving that now-uninhabited skull.

I think something is wrong with THAT.

I <3 Boobs.  So there.


zianuray: ('Weenie hat!)

is that when my nails are short -- like LMT-so-you-don't-gouge-the-client-short -- I won't wear nail polish. Today, I have enough length to enjoy wearing polish. And all mine was given away or thrown out over the last couple of years. So Emily took me shopping! Yay!

My favorite polish, Sally Hansen Prismatics, has been discontinued and the suggested replacement is not at all the same.  Yes, I got a bottle of the Diamond Strength No Chip Nail Color and it doesn't work at all for me, plus there are far fewer colors in the line.

BTW, anyone want to guess what color my nails are today?

[livejournal.com profile] jocosa  got it in one!  The actual color is Blue Lace from the Nicole line.


Mar. 28th, 2010 05:32 pm
zianuray: (Default)
When I was a kid, I loved to get the "fancy stationery sets" and "pretty notepaper" (read:  the overpriced chintzy stuff with a picture in the corner) at the discount store or the five-and-dime...and I'd never use them because if I ran out, I'd never have another as pretty and oh my, what would I ever do?  (Thank you, depression-era mindset of my primary caregivers.)  So I had this stash of cheap stationery collecting dust, and eventually it wound up getting thrown out.

Recently Emily picked up a gift for me of several of those fancy notepads with the magnetic cover that closes, and Blue got me one last year as a surprise.  Exactly the sort of thing that I would not have used even a couple of years ago.

I'm using the heck out of them because they're pretty and durnit, they're meant to be used and seen and enjoyed and not stuffed in a box in a closet!  I've taken the first sheet from each and saved in the same place I put the BPAL postcards, but the rest of the paper is getting used.  I think I may be growing up a bit and getting able to let go a bit more.


Mar. 23rd, 2010 07:54 pm
zianuray: (Default)

I've been ordering books from various small-press authors and occasional prints from...let's say, some with a...unique?  quirky? something like that, anyway, way of expressing themselves...and yes, there's overlap between the groups there.  A Venn diagram would look rather like an egg, I believe. 

And now I've started tipping/sponsoring/donating to a couple of poets/authors/artists I first found on LJ.  And then there are the birds -- Lady Val and company (Royal Gauntlet Birds of Prey).  For some reason, these actions feel pretty good.  Am I totally off kilter if donating toward a new set of paintbrushes so many people can keep enjoying someone's work actually makes me happier than giving the same amount to a panhandler?  (Yes, I still make and donate the hats, and collect cell phones for the violence shelter, and the other things I've been doing all along.)  (And if anyone has a no-longer used cell phone, hopefully with a charger, I'll gladly take it to the shelter for you.  And I'll take yarn and knot the scraps together to make another hat!)

ETA:  This is not about me asking for approval or head-pats; I feel like I get more from the stuff I donate to than I give back.  It's just...I feel that by sponsoring the artists, even in my very small way or by getting their work and spreading it around, I'm contributing more to "the sort of people I like to hang around with because they stretch me."

  Adopt one today! Adopt one today!  Adopt one today!   Adopt one today! Adopt one today!
zianuray: (Default)
I saw a post somewhere asking for donations for a home for unwed teenage mothers. The website looked OK, until I got to one certain part: the girls must attend church services.

Residents attend church on Sundays. They may attend the church of their choice or go with our group.

So, no Seventh-Day Adventists or Jewish girls ever get pregnant out of wedlock? Good to know.

What types of classes and services are available to your young ladies?

A. Many things:
A loving, homelike environment.
Nutritional meals.
Proper role models
Clothing for young ladies and babies.
Help with personal problems.
Access to adequate pre-natal and medical care.
Pre-natal and birth classes.
Group Counseling.
Pediatric health care.
Parenting and infant care training.
Building healthy relationships and boundaries.
Health education.
Education (high school or GED).
Internet access for community resources
Money management classes
Bible studies and religious resources.
Adoption education and referral.

Religious resources? Really! Which religion?

The main page and the "program" page made no mention of this, it's near the bottom of a laundry list of "requirements" on the FAQ page.

I was ready to send a small donation until I read that.

To me, it's like "If you're willing to become a Christian, we'll help you. If you're Buddhist, or Pagan, or Jewish, or....well, nevermind."

I'm petty, I suppose.

They have been doing fine without my "mite," they can continue so.

I don't donate to the Salvation Army either, since they turned me down the one time I needed help badly enough to ask them for it.

*shrug* Like I said, I reserve the right to be petty at times.
zianuray: (Default)
I do not like World Market Sea Salt Dark Chocolate.
zianuray: (Default)
On the 7th, when I got to work for the first non-training day of work, I go up and beep my card on the door to get in, and there is the click of the magnetic lock releasing, and I pull...and the door doesn't open. It's still bolted. Thankfully, one of the supervisors is thee and lets me in before I panic.

On the 14th, I drive by the front on my way to the parking area -- all is dark. I'm worrywarting (thanks, Grampa. NOT!) that the door will be bolted again, that I won't be able to get in, that no-one will show up except me...and, of course, the door opens just like it's supposed to. I go find the light switch and start my before-clocking-in stuff...and of course, nearly give myself a panic attack.

"What if no supervisors show up? What if no-one comes in but me? Oh my, oh my....what if?"

And I take a deep breath and remind myself that I have the documentation on the intranet, I have two different helplines (one for me, one for owners), I may be inexperienced but I am TRAINED and I am an intelligent and resourceful person and I by dingies CAN and WILL do this.

And other VPCs and two supervisors show up, and of course all is well....

But I just HAD to scare myself.



May. 5th, 2009 07:40 am
zianuray: (ow)
Gods I hurt.  Yesterday I started canvassing -- working ground-level in a commercial area.  Not many steps, mostly curb and a lot of those have cutouts, so NBD.  That was fine. 

Then my underboss met up with me, and a two-levels-up-from-him boss, and they decided we were doing residential areas for the next two hours.  We were three blocks from my car and I had no time to go get my walking stick.  Most porches around here have steps, many relatively steep, and very few with a handrail.  I have a moderate case of acrophobia, balance problems, stiff/achy knees, and too-short Achilles' tendons (the acro may have been acquired in childhood; the knees are an 8-years-ago thing I believe -- got a bit dinged up at the factory one day.  The other two are from birth). 

And today everything below my shoulderblades HURTS.  Ibuprofen, where are you?  And yes, I used a muscle rub everywhere I could reach last night.  I'd be worse without it, I do believe.  Worst parts today?  Achilles' tendons and quads.

Somebody remind me this will only last a few days and then I'll feel better, please.
zianuray: (brainfreak)
I drove the little pickup for the first time today -- it is certainly NOT proportioned right for me, but we did get the riding mower out of the ditch without hitting anyone or causing traffic delays.  There is a stretch by the street that is a pretty steep (though short) slope, about two mowers wide and a 45% angle going to the fenceline (electric, btw), and the mower went a little too far south!  So DH comes and says "Y'know how we've been meaning to teach you to drive the truck?" it being a stickshift and I said "Oh S***."  So I got all nervous and did it and only killed it once when someone behind me (after we got things right and I was turning around) crowded me.  And I was scared.  I can drive the big stuff -- deuce-and-a-halves and 5-tons and wreckers...it's the little stuff that throws me!
zianuray: (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] indigoskynet , I've re-found my Chore Wars account and set up several things adventures that need regular attention. I'm hoping that actually ticking them off will help me see what I DO get done and what still needs doing and helps me get/stay motivated.  I included jobhunting and estate and exercise categories, so...

I don't think I'll be posting the regular updates, but maybe when something especially tickles me or I have an EXTREMELY productive day!

In other areas, I had some good news today and got some reassurance on another, so that helps me feel validated.  Sad that I NEED it, but whatever.

zianuray: (feet are the foundation)
You know how with most job interviews, you're edgy and nervous?  You want to be really careful to give a good impression?

Well, I've an interview this afternoon -- in Springfield -- at a dayspa, and when I was on the phone with the owner we were laughing and joking like we'd been pals for years.  A couple of things were brought up (on both sides) that have been deal-breakers before, and it was like "Oh GOOD!" this time.

I've prepared my usual "about me" folder with copies of pertinent education and licensing, added some fliers and brochures I've done, and printed out my new-and-improved resume`.  What am I forgetting?

Khakis are laid out and a good top,  hair will be pulled back and I'll be ready to provide a sample of my work.  (FYI, I carry sample packets of massage lotions in my purse.  How enthusiastic is THAT?)  (Chuckle.)

Anyway, this sounds like a place I could be very happy (fulfilled is included in happy).  Not in the "Lalala" sense, but in the "OK, I know what I'm doing and YAHOO they're letting me DO it!" sense.  So any good vibes, prayers, whatever would be very happymaking for me, thankyouverymuch.

(See what happens when Mercury goes Direct?)
zianuray: (Mystic Circle)
Not a girlfriend-girlfriend, but a girlFRIEND.

Had an occurrence today that I need to hash over and just basically freak out about with someone and FOR THIS a husband just isn't the target audience.

And I don't know any females well enough to call up and open this up with.
zianuray: (Default)
There are a few minor details to bring up before I hire you.

1)  Do NOT talk down to me.  If I need a definition or clarification, I will ask.  I am a layperson, not an idiot.

2)  Yes, I'm fat.  Morbidly obese is the medical term.  I know this, you do NOT need to bring it up.  When I've given up on doing something about it, I'll ask for drugs or surgery.  Until then, leave it alone.  Do NOT assume that every health problem I have is due to my weight -- you'll be wrong far more often than right.  Conversely, do not discount my concerns because of my weight. 

3)  When I come in, which is seldom, I have a pretty good idea what is wrong and I've taken the relevant OTC meds and likely several herbal or alternative treatments.  You don't need to tell me to take two aspirin and call back in a week -- unless it's a broken bone or large gash I've BEEN sick for a week or more.  And if it's a broken bone or a cut in need of stitches, chances are good I've gone to the ER or Urgent Care and had it taken care of already.

4)  I am, in general, an informed consumer/patient.  I am also NOT very patient.  If I tell you I've tried something, don't ask me thirty seconds later if I've tried it, or tell me to try it.  I'll realize you aren't paying attention, and IT IS YOUR JOB to pay attention.

5)  If you order tests, be prepared to explain why you believe they are necessary.  If I don't agree, I will refuse said tests, especially if they are invasive.

6)  I'm brutally honest when you ask if I've done this or that, both because I know that if you ask, you have a reason and because I know you won't tell anyone without either a court order or my permission.  You're more likely to get a court order. 

7)  I have a living will and a health care directive.  Don't pull punches, and I don't scare easily.  I'm on the list as "take anything useable and give the rest to science."

8)  I will follow your suggestions to the best of my ability if I agree with your reasoning. 

9)  If I am (myfirstname), you are (yourfirstname).  If you are Dr. Whatever, I am Mrs. (lastname).

If you cannot show me the SAME respect you feel that you deserve, or if you cannot abide by the points outlined here, feel free to fire me.  No sense both of us wasting our time.




I send a copy by mail when I make my first appointment with a note requesting that the DR read it and place it in my chart.  Then I hand-carry a copy and hand it to the nurse when I'm called back.  THEN I have a copy in my hand when the Doc walks in.

I've had the same Doctor for over 12 years now.  Well, more or less -- haven't been to see him in over 2 years, 'cause I don't see the need to waste time and money exposing myself to other peoples' germs while I'm healthy!

And yes, I fired a doctor before -- we're in his office after my exam to get BCP and he starts on me about my weight, AS HE LIGHTS UP A CIGARETTE in his OFFICE.  Plus he had the classic "drunkard's nose."  I told him when he quit smoking, lost 25 pounds, and got sober he could criticize my weight.  He objected to my observations and I walked out.  With my 'scrip.  I told the payment clerk I was NOT paying and why, and if there was any difficulty I'd be glad to explain to the director.  I never got a bill and when I made another appointment at that office, I got a different doctor without having to ask.  After that was when I wrote up that letter -- it's gone through several revisions!
zianuray: (P'd off!  From bw)
I need a "I'm in a BAD MOOD" icon.  Not as in pouty/weepy, more as in "You get this warning and that's all, now are you going away or do I get to shred you?"

Movies / TV: 

#1)  Do not assume that 5 minutes of sci-fi or FX is gonna outweigh an hour thirty of sentimental dreck.

#2)  Do not assume that an hour plus is gonna outweigh twenty minutes of rotten kid and five minutes of dreck.

Matter of fact, just keep the sentiment out of my movies, 'mmkay?  In general, if you're going "Where's the plot?  It's just all bullets!"  I'll probably have fun.

Lists/examples -- NOT all-inclusive, of course, but just as an idea.

I like:

-Die Hard
-Jackie Chan
-MI -- the show and the movies
-Batman -- the darker the better
-Iron Man -- Gods, I had a techgasm.  I want that computer/workshop!  Though I should probably want the brains to use them first.
-things with explosions and car/motorcycle chases and general mayhem.
-Matrix was OK, at least the FX were decent.  The third one was ... well, see #2 above.
-The Librarian
-The Order

TV I like:
-Two and a half men --  Charlie is a hoot, Alan is a twerp/wuss/doormat, and their Mom is a pirahna in lipstick.  And Jake is just...Ew.   Though Jake does seem to be getting better. 
- Numb3rs
-48 Hours
-Mythbusters (Jamie Like Big Boom!)
-Most of the newer Doctor Who

I do NOT like:

That frickin' NASCAR movie.
Chick flicks
Potty humor (includes South Park and Family Guy, most Simpsons)
Weepy shit
most sitcoms aka evening soaps (Friends, etc.)
Married With Children

We went to The Day the Earth Stood Still today.  I don't see why they bothered with the freaking bratty kid.  I know it's the fashion now to beg your kid to put up the game and come to supper, but give me a freakin' BREAK.  I haven't seen the original nor read the book (if there is one) so can't compare them, but this was....well, see second "Do not assume" above.  Keanu Reeves (?) did OK as the emotionless alien, though, I thought.  I was just so annoyed with the brat that that colored the whole thing.  And I'm sure if the wrong right people see this, I'm gonna get the whole "He's just a kid" apologetic and I'm not interested.


zianuray: (Default)

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