zianuray: (Default)
is something any Transgender person hears a lot -- "You were born (fe)male and that's what G-d intended!"  

Yes, and that child was born with a cleft palate, so let her starve, 'cause "G-d made her that way."

And that child had heart surgery BEFORE birth or he would have been born dead -- so why are you interfering with "G-d's Will"?  

And the man who is scarred form a fire -- don't do skin grafts to make him more comfortable both physically and with his appearance, because that scarring is "G-d's Will" and cosmetic surgery is just "vanity."

Same for the woman who loses a breast to cancer or is in car accident where half her face gets pulverized.

In fact, don't own/drive/ride in a car or any other form of transportation like a wagon, 'cause G-d made feet. 

And don't send food to countries in famine, 'cause it's "G-d's Will" that they're hungry.

Oh, and guess what?  We're all born naked.  So why are you wearing clothes if how one appears at birth should be the standard for one's entire life?
zianuray: (Default)
Just saw a bottle of "Lemon Eucalyptus" essential oil at a health food store...

but when reading the label more closely, it is "eucalyptus essential oil and lemon essential oil" rather than Eucalyptus citriodora.


zianuray: (Default)
"If you could ask God one question, what would you ask?"

I'm going to assume that this person meant "and get an answer" because I've asked god so many questions that I've quit asking.
Never got an answer, so why bother?

I asked why my first husband got schizophrenia. 

I asked why my uncle was murdered and left two small children. 

I asked why my stepfather molested me. 

I asked why I had to move schools every year and leave any friends I made behind. 

I asked how I was going to raise a child alone, with no support system and a job that made no allowances for a kid getting sick or having to show up in court to explain that unsupervised visitation was NOT a good idea. 

I held my neighbor while she asked why her husband was cheating on her with a teenager whose mother drove her to that house and sat downstairs drinking coffee and waiting while my friend was at work. 

I held another while she wept for the children she'll never bear after a rape left her with so much damage she needed a hysterectomy and asked why. 

I held a friend who wept without a sound, with no tears, simply trembling and choking, never given a reason for the abuse he suffered as a child.

I'm done asking.  Some days, I'm done believing.  Most days, I believe that if there's a god, he isn't paying attention.  Really, I've been through the whole indoctrination process that "All good things come from God, nothing ever happens to us that He doesn't allow, it'll all work out for His Glory."

Yeah, I'm sure He will make sure He's glorified.  The God of the Christian Bible is a spoiled brat to start with -- READ that bible with your eyes open, don't take my word for it! -- and He just adores sinners -- after all, He made an adulterer king of His people and commanded that babies and small children of the losing side have their brains dashed out on stones by the winners of a war started for His Glory.  Bloodthirsty critter, there.  And you Christians WANT to be "God-like"???????

He said "Do what you want to My servant Job, just don't kill him."  So all Job's property and children were wiped out, even his health, to prove a fricking POINT.  Yeah, he got back more than he lost in the long run, but HIS CHILDREN WERE STILL DEAD and lost to him while he was alive.  But, y'know, it's OK 'cause it's God's Will. 

And before you say "Oh, that's parables, that's allegory, that's just to help us understand" I submit that you can't have it both ways.  Either you believe the Bible is the inerrant Word of God, and worth following in all things (in which case we have a whole 'nother discussion coming up), or you believe it's a collection of stories to help "us poor stupid humans" learn our lessons.  Never mind that every one of the major stories can be found in older records of other civilizations from the area in question.

Those of you who use these writings to justify your opinions without following all the laws and strictures set down, guess what?  Your Christ had something to say about that. 

So don't sit there stuffing your face with a ham sandwich while wearing a poly/cotton shirt, sneering at "teh gayz" "because the Bible says so!"  'Cause Religion?  You're doing it wrong.

Rant again.

Oct. 9th, 2009 10:28 pm
zianuray: (Default)
The people who wrote the excerpts behind the cut are professionals, with schooling beyond secondary -- some have multiple degrees and work in marketing or teach. I, however, find it difficult to give credence to their advice or credentials when they put so little effort into expressing themselves clearly.

These are from different sites and different posters. I'm not picking on any one person.
Warning: Egregious spelling and grammatical errors behind cut. )

Before anyone asks, these are all people whose milk language is American English.


Mar. 23rd, 2009 01:25 pm
zianuray: (Default)
Not ONLY was the electric shut off today (and turned back on less than three hours later -- idiots!)  I just got a book in the mail that a)  Was not properly wrapped so the packaging tore b) the wrapping was TAPED TO the cover of the book c) it's water/coffee damaged AND d) it REEKS of cigarettes.  And there was someone's birthday card and paper scraps jammed inside it. And I don't want to leave it out back on the deck b/c it's looking like rain.  
zianuray: (Default)
what's this "mentee" word about?  Are people too lazy to say "protege`" now?

zianuray: (P'd off!  From bw)
Those of you who know me IRL know I'm fat.  And that I've been working -- baby steps -- on getting fitter (I've never been skinny and don't want to BE skinny).  Size 20 is my long-term goal, with 16 as a final.

I've been having a few job interviews, and some interviews to see if I'd "fit in" with the other people at various salons, etc.  So far?  No bites.

I was thinking it might be my weight, as most of the others in the salons I've been to were thin, if not scrawny (I mean needs a belt to keep her jeans on her hips, I don't mean a size 12).

I posted in an online forum asking for feedback, and three people said "so lose weight."  One of them -- a student -- said "I've never seen any therapist who truely embodied a healing spirit who was obease."

 Aside from the excellent spelling skills there, she's certainly qualified to make that call.  Sheesh!  I'd guess she's not had much life experience, or her idea of a "healing spirit" is much different from (than?  I always have trouble with that.) what I look for. 

I'm just SO tempted to write back, "Hey, Jim, Missy and George, thanks so much for the advice!  I'd NEVER have thought to diet on my own!" 

Two other people have already swatted her, so I'm going to ignore the comment.

Several -- I quit counting when I teared up -- sent me encouragement and their own stories, and that's what I'm holding on to for now.

ETA:  I posted again to thank, by name, those who offered support, and added this:

Right now I do have a room in a small town nearby, but the location is
not the best. I live in an even smaller town, but may have a chance
at a better location nearer here (I'll be talking to the agent
tomorrow). It's next door to one salon and barely across the street
from another (and neither of them has ROOM for a massage table, much
less room for a room) and is on one of the two main boulevards for
this town, and right near the Farmers' Market.

I can't help thinking that if these people who are turning me down
would "let me audition" (take the free massage I offer as proof of my
skill/talent) we'd never have had this conversation.
zianuray: (the Stinking Rose)
Someone recently told me that aromatherapy doesn't work, "because the stuff can't get into your system just from being on your skin!"

I agreed, and pointed out that of COURSE that's why doctors prescribe nitro patches and nicotine patches and contraceptive patches, because stuff can't possibly be absorbed through the skin. 


I would have tried to educate the individual, but they had that mulish expression that meant I'd've been teaching a pig to sing.  And arguing, well, I just didn't have the energy. 

I do like the experiment with the garlic, though :D  If someone CAN be convinced to try it, it'll convince them!

zianuray: (Default)
Like I have any experience, but here goes:

I hear that people are addicted to alcohol, heroin, the internet, gambling, sex...and yeah, giving up something your body/brain has grown to expect will be uncomfortable and difficult.

But there's one "addiction" that, to my mind, trumps all the others because there's no way to live without it.  Not for more than a few months, anyway.


If you want to quit smoking, you put down the cigarettes and don't buy, beg, borrow or steal another.  And people will HELP you with this.  The doctor is not going to tell you "Well, let's get to where you're only smoking five a day and that'll be OK."

If you want to give up alcohol, don't buy any more, stay out of the bars, go to a program, get medication, get therapy.  Again, people will HELP you with this.  If you want the heart-healthy benefits of red wine, guess what?  You can have grape juice.  The doctor is not likely to tell you "One can of beer a day isn't going to hurt you" if you've told her that you crave more and WILL drink it if it's there.  She'll help you get it out of the house and out of your system enough that you can turn it down.

You won't die if you don't have sex twice a day.  Your nervous system won't misfire after two months of NOT pulling the lever on a jackpot machine.  There are still some jobs that do not demand computers (or at least internet access) and there is still the USPS and Ma Bell and even *gasp* PERSONAL INTERACTION!!!! for communication and the library for honest-to-goodness research.  And adult bookstores for porn.

Food?  "Oh, just eat less."  Eat the things you don't like!  "Eat less and exercise."  "Oh, look, the company provided a box of donuts for the meeting!"  "Oh, just have ONE cookie, that won't hurt you."  "What, you don't like my cooking?"  "Come sit down and watch TV with me.  Pass the popcorn?"

Yes, those fasts where you drank only water and took several supplements each day were a "thing" for awhile.  Then problems started showing up, like arrhythmia.

Yes, there's the gastric bypass surgery -- which you can be too fat for, believe it or not, according to the guidelines of whichever doctor or hospital you're talking to, PLUS the nutritional deficiencies they still haven't QUITE figured out how to deal with.  And the stomach stapling?  Do you get your esophagus sewn shut so you can't drink whiskey?  No?  Well, why not? 

Oh, you're going for a walk?  Give me a minute to brush my hair/change clothes/find my tennis shoes/check my e-mail and I'll go with you!  Oh look, it's time for As The Stomach Turns, maybe tomorrow.  And don't you have an appointment?  What do you MEAN you'd've had time for at least a mile if I hadn't DELAYED you for NOTHing? 

And the no-fat diets?  You NEED some small amount of fat to keep your nervous system (that thing that makes your heart beat) working properly and keep your skin and hair healthy.

The no-fat and low-fat food and treats in the nice pretty packages?  Check the salt and sugar content.  Seriously.  And if it's that "left-handed" fat (or right-handed, I forget which) stock up on toilet paper and don't plan to leave the house for a day or two.

And the sugar-free?  Check the fat content. 

Air-popped popcorn DOES have some fat in it -- where do you think "corn oil" comes from?  Microwave popcorn?  Oh PLEASE!

Remember back in grade school science class when you learned that the enzymes in your spit changed sugar to starch and vice versa as you chewed?  So why do you think now it makes that much difference which one you eat?  They're both carbohydrates and both have the same number of calories per gram. 

And even the "free foods" and "zero point" foods listed on certain websites have LIMITS on how much of it you're allowed to eat before it starts having points, so that's not all that free, now is it?

So yeah.  Make food taste good,  enjoy it, eat too much of it, get fat, and get told you have to continue to do what caused the problem -- just less of it.  And when you're still hungry, cranky because of it, and someone offers you a cookie?  They shouldn't be so shocked if you take the fingers WITH it.

And once you get off the cigarettes/alcohol/whatever, you're not going to have to face it 1-3x per day for the rest of your life.

Think about it.  

Three times each day, take one drag on that cigarette and put it down.  Don't even out it OUT, just put it down somewhere within sensory range.  You can see the glowing tip, smell the aroma...and nope, your will is strong, you're not gonna touch it. 

Three times each day, take ONE mouthful of beer.  Swish it around, taste it fully...now spit it out in the sink.   Leave the bottle open where you can see it while you do something else for about 20 minutes.  But you're not going to drink it.

Right?  Right?  Yeah, that's what I thought.

Edited to add something my husband just pointed out:  Every one of the "other addictive behaviors" the addict had to CHOOSE to BEGIN. 

zianuray: (besom banish)
My favorite question is at the end of the day -- "Do any good?"

Well, y'know, that kinda depends, doesn't it?  If I broke even (materials, table, fuel, lodging if necessary, extra cost of not-at-home food) then I did...ok. 

If I made a profit, even a small one, then by definition I did "pretty well."

I, however, am one of these who could sell everything except the car and the clothes I'm standing in and I'd jut be aggro'd that I didn't bring more!

And no matter what, someone is going to say "this all you got of these?"  *yup*  "got any of these in (color/scent/whatever)?" and you (allright, *I*) just want to slap 'em b/c I just SAID that's what I have.  *Yeah, but I'm not gonna get it out and sell it to ya.*                  !!!!!!!!!!!**^$%$%^

Or you have a candy dish and someone b!+ches b/c you don't have the specific sort they want.

OR someone picks up a set of earrings and "I don't want to pay $XX for these!  I can get the parts for $xx at *place*!"

Last V*C I told a gal to put them down and walk away, then.  I'd held them for her as her daughter had wanted her to see them to replace a similar pair she'd lost.

I'd gotten the parts off the "clearance, we don't carry this anymore" rack months before.  No way was she getting them at that store. 

She came back and bought them later, and did NOT get a discount.   (And her daughter tried to apologize for her mother's snarkage.  Sweet kid, but I told her SHE had nothing to apologize for!)

Or some lazy-@$$ excuse for a parent tells their kids who are hungry and tired to go get more candy from your dish, since it's free and there and they don't want to take the kids to McD cause they're visiting with someone.   Then yells at the kids for acting up 'cause they're sugared up.

And people who leave stuff with you to sell and don't tell you how much you can go down on a price, if any. 

Or people who do you the favor of table-sitting while you hit the privy and sell things for 20% of what you have them marked b/c "they offered."  So you lose

zianuray: (Default)
Been on the phone with Tech support for the laptop for days.

thurs, Oct 2, the printer worked.

fri, oct 3, it don't.  Communication not being happening.

don't ever even bother with the typing-chat thing.  they don't dig the difference between "computer problem" and "printer problem."
which this is a computer thing b/c the printer works with other computers in the house, and it DID work with this thing until the above-mentioned date.  I think there may have been one of those sneakattack updates that won't let you do anything until you agree to update or just automatically loads itself.  which I thought I had that de-optioned, but whatever.

so unplug cables, turn off this&that, restart, uninstall and reinstall the printer driver; all this in vain.

chat support:  all that again, plus uninstall fracking USBs for some reason, rewrite bios, (which was NOT a new rev, same one it had),  then they decide well if that don't work it's the printer so I get sent to a whole nother section of the site which is for this brand which is the same thing with a sticker on it.  Meh.

Now y'all know I am NOT by any means a computer-fixer-person, so I tend to do as I'm told once i figure out what it is they're telling me.

And I do a "restore" which is supposed to set things back to where they were before the problem....but the printer still doesn't work and NOW the laptop can find the router but not the internet and the other two computers are on just fine!  And unplugging the modem and the router and restarting the lappie don't work.  So PHONE the tech (which happens to be just 30 miles away for gossakes) AGAIN and tis one (a girl this time) we flail around and eventually something works and i have net again.  But still no printer.

And as far as she and her co-workers and super can tell, "it's a Vista thing."

Just like the "turn off the screensaver to burn a CD" thing is Vista thing.


Just blowing off steam, y'all.  I'll figure it out and get it working, it'll just take me time and patience.
zianuray: (Default)
as a RenFaire Wench with your frontal assets on display if you're going to snarl at anyone looking at them?

And why, for V'ger's sake, did you invest so much time and/or money in that StarFleet Admiral's uniform if you're not allowing pictures

But for the sake of common sense, if you don't want it seen, COVER IT UP!  I'm almost pathetically straight, and I enjoy the view at a Renaissance Faire as much as anyone -- and if MotherBob offered me a wubby, then by dingies I'd play!  (And she may take this as an invite if she so chooses -- but I reserve the right to blush!)

Now I do generally ask before taking a picture, even if it's just holding up a camera and looking hopeful to avoid interrupting someone (unless there's already a storm of flashbulbs going off), but in the case of the Admiral's uniform you could have said "I'm not up for pictures just now, but thanks" rather than "RAWR!  NO!!" and stomping off!  I mean, it's a compliment, isn't it?

***Please note, I am NOT saying that wearing a short skirt means you deserve to be raped, or that the "wrong" color hat means you should be shot.***

Boy, this is my week to blow off steam, huh?  <G>
zianuray: (rqb)
Lessee, how to categorize this rant.

Personal conduct when it reflects on others due to being a visible minority?

Not quite, most of us don't wear signs saying "I'm a Witch!  I'm a Pagan" or whatever their preferred term of address is.  Though some of us are certainly out of the broom closet and not shy about it.

Where I used to work, a place where my religious "rights" were "protected by law" since we had over x number of employees and government contracts, I let it be known I was Pagan/Witch.  (Not Wiccan, that's for another post, but whatever.)  Didn't have much hassle about it, and the one person who did have a problem with it quit rather than have to learn her new job from me.  She asked; I didn't volunteer it.

There were two other open Pagans there -- say, A and B, since I'm going by Z these days.

ETA:  I suppose what I'm trying to get across is this -- If you're gonna take a job, DO the job.  If you're gonna have children, take care of them -- don't expect the world to do it for you.  And that's anybody.
zianuray: (in work)
In the last month or so, 4 people on my mutual friends list have taken themselves to places other than LJ because of people *here* making trouble.  At least, according to my friends, which is the only input I have on each of these situations. 

I have neither time nor desire to figure out 3 different blogging places, set up accounts, remember usernames/passwords, and remember to CHECK each place for news.

Fine, just EVerybody leave, I'll play by myownself!  What is with people about here? 

Why would folks start trouble, why would OTHER folks listen, and why would ANYone freaking CARE? 

If I know someone, I know whose side I believe -- and no, it's NOT always the person I know.

Granted, most of these folks I have not met IRL, but I've been reading them -- and they me -- for sometimes years.  That can give you a pretty good perspective, IMO.


PLAY NICE, peeps!  All a' y'all!

Good NIGHT!!!


Dec. 15th, 2006 02:13 pm
zianuray: (Default)
Today's interactions with others are not starting auspiciously.

At Wal-Mart in Republic, the cashier flat-out IGNORES me until I start hauling things back off the belt.

I get to work, put down the newspaper I *JUST BOUGHT* see previous transaction), put my purse partly on it, and turn around to put the lunchmeat in the cooler...and find a temp taking my paper from under my purse!

"Excuse me, I wan't done with that."

"OH well SOR-EE!"

"Never mind, just take it."

Shee-it, what is WITH people?
zianuray: (celticknot)
Two recent examples:

Sis and I had been discussing my Faire sandals. She asked, "Do you wear them all the time?" Since I was wearing tennyflops(those open-heeled things with the front half like a tennis shoe) at the time, I answered "No," with a tad of puzzlement.

She went OFF on me. Apparrently I was supposed to know she meant "Do you wear them places other than Faire? Shopping, around town, etc?"


But that's not what she ASKED!

Sophie-at-work asked "What kind of candles do you make?"

"What do you mean?"

"What kind of candles do you make????!!!!?!?!?!"

"Wax with a wick? Dragons and Cats and Wizards Oh My?"

Mary had to intervene to find out she wanted to know if I made jar candles with scents.

*Break for sarcasm*

Why am I not picking up on what people want to know instead of what they are asking? Guess I should have taken that ESP course back in the 80's.

*Back to rant*

GoDs, PeoPle, ASK the Question You WANT ANSWERED!!


May. 6th, 2006 02:14 pm
zianuray: (Default)
Working weekends to cover other people's snafu's again. LIKE I have nothing else to do with my non-life....
zianuray: (Default)

this is behind a cut so i can point out that self-pity-parties are never pretty. 

Why i don't like cigarettes, by Zia )

i think it started when she remarried.  she'd always smoked, since before i was born, but not in Gramma's house.  then she met him, and he smoked too, and they got married, and i had to go with her since she was mom.

and he smoked.

and i got burned.

and when she asked, he'd say "oh, she was playing with the lit cigarettes and did it to herself."

(now, cigarette burns tend to hurt. just a bit.  and they itch even while they still hurt, so you can't really scratch because that'll hurt worse!)

keep in mind, she's a nurse.  an RN.

if YOUR kid is burning himself, the kid has a problem, right?

if your husband is burning your kid, the husband has a problem, right? 

but in her world, this was OK. anything else would have meant she wasn't "in control of the situation." 

at the time, of course, i didn't understand that part.  i knew i was being punished--sometimes for things i did 'cause i didn't know i wasn't supposed to do 'em.  sometimes for not doing things i hadn't known i was SUPPOSED to do.  sometimes for doing something today that was required yesterday but forbidden today--with no notice given of the change.  sometimes because "you know why, don't make me explain it." 

he crushed out a cigarette on the back of my hand right in front of the checkout clerk at the Alden's.  i didn't cry or yelp.  i made sure i didn't leak tears until he was looking away, then i swiped them on my hand real quick 'cause if the clerk had seen and asked....well.  once of THAT was enough.

he got me in the corner at the house and shoved one up my nose.  the burn from that didn't show, so that was OK.  i didn't have to field questions. 

see, i was a bad girl.  i deserved it.  i had to be punished. 

Gramma and Grampa would come and get me (and Sis, generally) every weekend i can remember.  When i was in second grade and Sis was 2, one time they bought up $40 worth of groceries.  keep in mind, this is 30 years ago.  that was a LOT of food.  they told us it was so us kids would have something to eat in the house. 

as soon as they left, he told me to keep the kid (Sis) quiet.  he loaded all the food they'd brought in the car and took off.  he came back less than an hour later with 2 cases of beer and 2 cartons of cigarettes. 

then he told me to fix the kid a bottle of sugar water to shut her up.  i was bad.  i couldn't keep Sis from crying.  i couldn't make her be not-hungry.  it was my fault.

he's dead now. has been for several years, i was told.  no, i had nothing to do with it.

she died about 3, maybe 4 years ago.  i went to the funeral to make sure she was really dead this time.  she's faked suicide attempts several times.  starting in nursing school. she told her twin brother,  and her shrink, and then her parents: "i figure how much i can take so if no-one finds me, i'll wake up in a day or two."

now ain't THAT a healthy mind?  and she made RN?????  and people wonder WHY i don't trust doctors, nurses, hospitals......???????????????????????

and cause of her death -- something about emphysema. Of course, that had NOTHING to do with the two-pack-a-day-for-over-20-years habit. Oh no....
zianuray: (Default)
somebody get a straitjacket ready, size 26WP please.

we have been doing a set of engineer-test panels at work....something to the tune of 19 cores (with a layer on each side) per finished board. these cores are big, flimsy, and brittle. it takes two of the engineers to punch them (put holes in the edges for scanners and layup).

there is one scanner they can be run on. we have two scanners of this type and size, but one is broken and has been for 11 months now.

these panels will NOT lay flat, so the scanner thinks they do not have circuits where they should and do have blotches of conductive material where they should NOT. so it takes several tries (passes) to get one layer to scan. if it will at all.

and today i am told we will be having 200 of each core coming through per month very soon.

on a real good day, with very cooperative panels of this part, i can do 6 ten-panel sets. that's 120 sides, or 60 cores.

19 x 2 x 200 = 7600 sides

120 sides in an 8-hour shift....(second shift doesn't like these so they say "we couldn't get them to run" but just for the sake of charity we're gonna call it 2 shifts, ok?)

so 240 sides in 2 (8-hour) shifts
20 to 23 work-days in a month.....4800 to 5520 sides. OK, add in 4 Saturdays....that's another 960....well, maybe we need to work Sundays on these babies also. Add another 960.

Hmm. 7440.

Remember, that was on a GOOD day, with relatively good parts....

And what about when this scanner (or the operater) breaks down? only one we have that these will fit on, since the other is-and-has-been down.

Something tells me i need to start cancelling any non-work plans i may have (like the Handfasting? LIKE HELL!!) and stock up on coffee and multivitamins. AND look for another job.


zianuray: (Default)

December 2011

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