Addictions Rant

[zianuray]

Like I have any experience, but here goes:

I hear that people are addicted to alcohol, heroin, the internet, gambling, sex...and yeah, giving up something your body/brain has grown to expect will be uncomfortable and difficult.

But there's one "addiction" that, to my mind, trumps all the others because there's no way to live without it.  Not for more than a few months, anyway.

FOOD.

If you want to quit smoking, you put down the cigarettes and don't buy, beg, borrow or steal another.  And people will HELP you with this.  The doctor is not going to tell you "Well, let's get to where you're only smoking five a day and that'll be OK."

If you want to give up alcohol, don't buy any more, stay out of the bars, go to a program, get medication, get therapy.  Again, people will HELP you with this.  If you want the heart-healthy benefits of red wine, guess what?  You can have grape juice.  The doctor is not likely to tell you "One can of beer a day isn't going to hurt you" if you've told her that you crave more and WILL drink it if it's there.  She'll help you get it out of the house and out of your system enough that you can turn it down.

You won't die if you don't have sex twice a day.  Your nervous system won't misfire after two months of NOT pulling the lever on a jackpot machine.  There are still some jobs that do not demand computers (or at least internet access) and there is still the USPS and Ma Bell and even *gasp* PERSONAL INTERACTION!!!! for communication and the library for honest-to-goodness research.  And adult bookstores for porn.

Food?  "Oh, just eat less."  Eat the things you don't like!  "Eat less and exercise."  "Oh, look, the company provided a box of donuts for the meeting!"  "Oh, just have ONE cookie, that won't hurt you."  "What, you don't like my cooking?"  "Come sit down and watch TV with me.  Pass the popcorn?"

Yes, those fasts where you drank only water and took several supplements each day were a "thing" for awhile.  Then problems started showing up, like arrhythmia.

Yes, there's the gastric bypass surgery -- which you can be too fat for, believe it or not, according to the guidelines of whichever doctor or hospital you're talking to, PLUS the nutritional deficiencies they still haven't QUITE figured out how to deal with.  And the stomach stapling?  Do you get your esophagus sewn shut so you can't drink whiskey?  No?  Well, why not? 

Oh, you're going for a walk?  Give me a minute to brush my hair/change clothes/find my tennis shoes/check my e-mail and I'll go with you!  Oh look, it's time for As The Stomach Turns, maybe tomorrow.  And don't you have an appointment?  What do you MEAN you'd've had time for at least a mile if I hadn't DELAYED you for NOTHing? 

And the no-fat diets?  You NEED some small amount of fat to keep your nervous system (that thing that makes your heart beat) working properly and keep your skin and hair healthy.

The no-fat and low-fat food and treats in the nice pretty packages?  Check the salt and sugar content.  Seriously.  And if it's that "left-handed" fat (or right-handed, I forget which) stock up on toilet paper and don't plan to leave the house for a day or two.

And the sugar-free?  Check the fat content. 

Air-popped popcorn DOES have some fat in it -- where do you think "corn oil" comes from?  Microwave popcorn?  Oh PLEASE!

Remember back in grade school science class when you learned that the enzymes in your spit changed sugar to starch and vice versa as you chewed?  So why do you think now it makes that much difference which one you eat?  They're both carbohydrates and both have the same number of calories per gram. 

And even the "free foods" and "zero point" foods listed on certain websites have LIMITS on how much of it you're allowed to eat before it starts having points, so that's not all that free, now is it?

So yeah.  Make food taste good,  enjoy it, eat too much of it, get fat, and get told you have to continue to do what caused the problem -- just less of it.  And when you're still hungry, cranky because of it, and someone offers you a cookie?  They shouldn't be so shocked if you take the fingers WITH it.

And once you get off the cigarettes/alcohol/whatever, you're not going to have to face it 1-3x per day for the rest of your life.

Think about it.  

Three times each day, take one drag on that cigarette and put it down.  Don't even out it OUT, just put it down somewhere within sensory range.  You can see the glowing tip, smell the aroma...and nope, your will is strong, you're not gonna touch it. 

Three times each day, take ONE mouthful of beer.  Swish it around, taste it fully...now spit it out in the sink.   Leave the bottle open where you can see it while you do something else for about 20 minutes.  But you're not going to drink it.



Right?  Right?  Yeah, that's what I thought.

Edited to add something my husband just pointed out:  Every one of the "other addictive behaviors" the addict had to CHOOSE to BEGIN. 

Comments

[luckystar37.livejournal.com]

*applauds*!!! This is exactly what my mother says, and why I'm so frustrated. I never got addicted to anything else, but I NEED to live! and a morsel is like a gateway drug lol

Anyway, I feel for you. And feel you. And ok... off to dance work out, which is kinda my new addiction, so yay :) seriously. two months and the scale isn't moving, and I've lost ONE inch, but I work out every day because I love having an hour of dance every day.

[zianuray.livejournal.com]

See? Dancing b/c you love it -- that's right, that's the way to go! Yay Alli!

[hdsqrl.livejournal.com]

I totally agree with you on this. FRUSTRATING!!! I've been fighting this for my whole life, really, and even when I TRY to be good, even the smallest things will add on to my hips. Case in point: Yesterday. Had oatmeal for breakfast, yay. Son wanted McD's for lunch after he participated in the district spelling bee, so while there, I had a hamburger happy meal and a diet coke. (Hard to order much smaller than that, there.) For dinner, we went to Buffalo Wild Wings, where I had a salad with grilled chicken on it. And this morning? Up a pound and a half. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

How can we live, make smart decisions (well, as smart as possible when presented with a whole host of unhealthy choices) and STILL fail? *cries*

I'm going to pout some more now. Maybe that burns more calories than previously suspected. :p

[zianuray.livejournal.com]

Well, they say frowning burns more than smiling -- 40 muscles vs 7!

Been there done that...

[daughterofodhin.livejournal.com]

Wore the t-shirt,
wore the t-shirt out,
used the t-shirt for a rag,
wore holes in the t-shirt rag,
used the worn out t-shirt rag for kindling in a grill and burnt the t-shirt,
decided I really liked the t-shirt so I resurected the t-shirt,
wrote a best seller book about the t-shirt,

made the best seller book about the t-shirt into a mega million dollar movie about the t-shirt,

won an oscar with the mega million dollar movie about the t-shirt for best script base off of a best seller book about the t-shirt... retired the t-shirt all together.

Re: Been there done that...

[softlywhispered.livejournal.com]

Because, don't you know, We make up ALL the "medical" issues. You can't be fat and anorexic. You can't possibly not eat more than a 1000 calories a day and get up to 300 lbs (or so my current doctor thinks, but my nutritionst says you can. You can't possibly be EVERY OTHER WAY healthy.. and be fat.. There can't be ANY OTHER medical issues save fork&mouth diseas.

Re: Been there done that...

[zianuray.livejournal.com]

And your knees hurt because you're fat, not because you damaged one of them at work and had a heckofatime convincing the WC doc that YES, you're serious, and you'd rather have PT than drugs....

[brujah.livejournal.com]

Not precisely the line of thinking, but I had to add: And no one ever thinks to check for underlying medical issues. If you're fat, obviously, you eat too much.

[zianuray.livejournal.com]

Yup.

[supremegoddess1.livejournal.com]

This is a good use of analogies, and sadly true.

[duane-kc.livejournal.com]

This is *exactly* why I finally gave up attempting to "diet". Dieting, for me, means I can't keep *any* food in the house.

[zianuray.livejournal.com]

And "diets" tend to reset your metabolism lower, anyway -- phooey!

[magpieweaver.livejournal.com]

I have quit smoking and it was around all day long. Have company over for cards- they lit up. Go out and people around you were smoking. You had to walk through the lovely smell of smoke as you went in and out of buildings. The people at the table next to you were smoking. My partner smoked in the house or car. It is not easy at all. It was a full 5 years before my body stopped reacting to the smell and sight of a cigarette.
I'm still fighting the fat. The doctor can't do it for me. All the information is available. i have to eat less and exercise more. I lost 63 pounds then got complacent and over 2 years gained 40 back because I didn't really try. I let it slide.
Now I'm back to walking- don't wait for someone to go with you. Go alone. It is your goal not theirs. But do it regularly. Weather not nice enough to go walking- do yoga or something.
Micro wave popcorn isn't that bad. Eat it for a few weeks and you will find you don't need the fat. donuts- well- you say no and bring out a bag of carrots you thought to fix and bring instead to meetings. Or a piece of sugarless gum. If nothing else sip a glass of water.
Micky Dees- their $1 side salad is quite good- get the vinaigrette dressing for it with only 40 calories.
Sure you have to eat 3 times a day but no one forces you to eat rich things or large portions.
Have a reasonable goal. I never set a goal over 5 pounds. I have a charm bracelet that every time I lose 5 pounds I put on a charm. but if I ever go over that 5 pound mark the charm comes back off. So yes I'm working to put the charms back on it now. Yes I slip up- some days I'm just to sick to exercise or I just have to have that chocolate or what ever. I do keep small pieces of chocolate around so when I have to indulge I don't over do it. Better a bite then a candy bar.
When I really fall of the wagon I don't berate myself and say it is a lost cause. I just start up again. Like quitting smoking the longer you go without lots of fat, sugar and large portions the less your body wants them.
Is it easy NO. I do know that losing the weight will help me get off the rest of my medications or reduce them, will help protect me from the diabetes and heart disease that runs in my family. Will help ease the strain on my joints so hopefully I can go longer before I need knee replacements.
If can lose enough that I can once more do things without being short of breath then I will keep doing the good things because my health is important to me and it is up to me to do the right things.
It is not easy- there is no magic pill or pep talk from a doctor that will make you lose weight. My doctor won't even discuss weight- she weighs more then I do. My cardiologist will on the other head work with me in reducing medications if I do my part and show I'm serious about making the life changes necessary to lose weight. He is giving me 3 months to lose some weight. Then we will talk again about the medications and weight loss.
I do know it is different for each person but it is also possible for each person to decide it is important enough to them to make those changes to stay healthy. Many say they are healthy- maybe for now but it does take a toll over the years. At 63 I know.

Just my own opinion. Every one has to find their own way.
I hope you find a way that works for you.
hugs

[magpieweaver.livejournal.com]

Sorry I thought I had my long reply behind a cut.

[wren08.livejournal.com]

It does not help that our society makes it hard for you to purchase one serving of anything except at an astronomically inflated rate... and good for you foods are more expensive than the junk. So if you're poor, you can't afford the healthy food as often as not.

Also want to mention that if you're trying to quit smoking, a lot of people will do the same thing to you. My family goes out of their way to make it hard for me if they know I'm trying to quit again.

[zianuray.livejournal.com]

And good for you foods tend to require more prep and refrigeration. Not always easy to manage.

[reynai.livejournal.com]

I agree pretty much with everything written here. That's hit it on the nose.

Right now I'm in the annoying quandry where, if there's food that I like that I can prepare easily in the house, I'll eat too much of it too often. If there's no easy-to-prepare food in the house, I'll as often as not just go out to eat instead, since I don't feel like wasting time (as that's what cooking feels to me) making a food that I like okay. This not only defeats the purpose, but hurts the wallet.

As for the above commenter, who posted about willpower: Willpower is a skill. It must be practiced. Taking someone who doesn't have much willpower, and sending them against willpower-bane addictions? Only gonna breed failure, for the most part.

And failure just makes me, at least, want some comfort food to feel better.

Would you mind if I spread this around, Zia? I know some folks who'd really like to read it.

[zianuray.livejournal.com]

I'm honored that you think it's worth spreading! Go for it.

[nepthytis.livejournal.com]

Yup, food's a toughie. You said a mouthful for sure.

[zianuray.livejournal.com]

*giggle* "Mouthful" -- that's apt! (And I know you did that on purpose!)

[nepthytis.livejournal.com]

LOL actually, I started typing it, realized it was "punny", started to delete it and then decided to leave it.

I struggle with food so much it's nice to laugh about it occasionally.

[eakahler.livejournal.com]

What occurs to me is that by trying to reduce what you eat and change the things you eat, you are fighting our fundamental biology. Fat tastes good for a reason. Carbs taste good for a reason. Our bodies are programmed to like high calorie foods because that's what will maximize our chances of survival at subsistence level. We are also programmed to like to do things with the least energy expenditure possible, and for the same reason.

But in the past 100 years, we have experienced an abundance of food. So we now have a nearly limitless amount and choice of food, but the same biology as we did when people had to fear starvation around every corner. And the level of convenience in a modern country is astonishing! I can get high calorie, tasty food without having to expend any calories to get that food.

No wonder we have problems maintaining a healthy weight! Animals do the same thing, when faced with the same type of situation. My dog will gorge himself on his kibble if we let him, and then lay around the house doing nothing. He gained a large amount of weight, and only lost it because we took control of his eating and exercise.

We are only doing what comes naturally when we eat and gain weight. Fighting nature is the hard part - not just yours, but the nearly universal need of people to feed others and maximize the survival of the species. We are set up biologically to fail. That anyone manages to overcome it astounds me.