zianuray: (BPAL Pile)
[personal profile] zianuray
Comment with a limerick, a pun, or a haiku.  Nothing serious, please!

Original (or just that I haven't heard) is an extra entry.

Winner will be random draw.

Draw will be on Sunday Monday Punday evening.

"Prize" will be a half-dozen imps/vials/decants/soap samples/etc. from equally random e-tailers.  (Most vials will have been sampled from.)

(reference)

[profile] there_she_goes  is the winner!

Date: 2009-07-10 03:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hecatemacbeth.livejournal.com
Three guys go to a beach for some tossin' of the ol' pigskin. One guy is huge, so he nominates himself as the quarterback, while the other two go deep out into the dunes to catch.

Suddenly, one guy trips while walking backwards. He gets up, looks back, and sees that he tripped over a woman with no arms and no legs. "I'm sorry, ma'am! Is there anything I can do to help you?" he asks. She says "well, I've never been kissed before", and he obliges, centers himself and goes back to play.

He meets up with the other guy and tells him of the woman that lies where he tripped. Guy #2 decides to investigate, and sure enough, finds the woman lying on the ground, with no arms and no legs. She looks up and tells him "I've never been touched before." He thinks about it, looks around, and starts fondling her chest, gives her a kiss and gets up to go back to the game.

Now, the quarterback at this point is pissed, because the two guys have been goofing off and neither on the field at the same time. He ventures over to where the two guys are, and asks them what they've been doing. The two guys explain about the woman lying on the ground and how one was asked for a kiss while the second got asked a little bit more.

He thinks for a minute, and storms over to the woman lying on the ground. "You've interrupted our game twice already, what else do you want, so that we can get back to our game?" She looks up and smiles, saying "I've never been fucked before." He smiles back and picks her up, slowly carrying her towards the ocean.

He asks her, "Are you ready for me to fuck you?" and she nods her head excitedly....He lifts her over his head and tosses her a fwe yards out into the ocean and then calls to her...."You're FUCKED now, ain't ya?"



Date: 2009-07-10 04:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] voyeurwithwings.livejournal.com
Ok, that is so sick and twisted.

(no wonder I liked it...hehe)

Date: 2009-07-10 07:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hecatemacbeth.livejournal.com
::smirk::

Well, not everyone who likes BPAL are the norm's, yanno? :)

Glad you liked it. :)

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